Researchers at the University

New Mexico have recently completed some long-term studies
on the correlation between intelligence and sperm quality. To the surprise of absolutely nobody,
this crack team of brilliant career scientists have definitively concluded that intelligent men have
higher sperm counts, better overall sperm health, a superior genetic makeup, make for the best
lifelong mates, are preferred for one night stands, and are generally much sought after in all
regards by women across the board in their blind tests. Furthermore, the scientists also found
that New Mexico men with PhDs report higher incomes than their peers, are easily capable of
beating up all other scientists, once dunked over Michael Jordan in a one-on-one game
but never brag about it, and have a 172% success rate in bringing their partners to something called
“Hyper-Orgasm.”